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“Yes?” he asked.
“Uh . . . your name is Gerard right?” her voice sounded young, very young. Was she a freshman? Her voice also slightly wavered like she had been crying.
“Yes. Do I know you?” he asked. She shrugged.
“I know you — sort of. I’ve seen you around, and I was thinking, well actually, I was wondering if you would like togo to the school dance with me. Or go on a date sometime.”
Gerard’s throat tightened. Would he have to tell her? Maybe he could get around it somehow. A little white lie. Yeah that was it.
“I….I’m going with someone else. Her name’s —”
“no, you’re not. No one else has asked you. No one really talks to you. Come on. I really like you. My name is Adrian by the way. And —”
“Adrian, I’m sure you’re a really nice girl, but I’m sorry. I don’t really want to go out with you. You can have anyone you want. You’re a cheerleader.”
Her expression darkened.
“so you’re judging me on that? That I’m a cheerleader. I’m not good enough for you is that it? That you only date intellectual people like yourself?
“No, that’s not it. Not really. It’s just . . .”
“It’s just what?”
“I’m gay.”
The words echoed inside of his head as if he had shouted them instead of spoken them.
He saw her bite her lip, scrunch up her eyes the way girls do to keep from crying.
“I’m sorry….” She said backing away, long hair bouncing in pigtails as she walked away.
“No, I’m sorry.” He whispered.
“Who was that?” asked Luke coming up to him.
“I honestly have no idea.” Said Gerard monotonously.
“Yeah, well, are you gonna play that game all day?”
“Nooo because we’re not going to be here all day.”
Luke shrugged and ran off to play a Jurassic Park game, the newest installment in the arcade.
When they got back home, it we 2:00 in the afternoon. Their mom wasn’t back yet, so Luke went over a friend’s house and Gerard took a nap. HE fact bad about what had happened wit that girl. Just because he didn’t like her back, he felt a huge load of guilt. He could never like a girl like that though. HE told himself that he couldn’t be blamed. But he blamed himself anyway. HE listened to cars drive up and down the street, trying to guess the size of each car. He was probably wrong every time. The hell with cars. Luke was the car expert.
Gerard closed his eyes, snug in his skeleton pajamas. Why was he so tired? Oh well. AS his eyes closed, all outside noises and thoughts slid away into oblivion.
Gerard dreamt about his child hood, something he never liked to think about. He remembered his mother back then. She seemed really tall, a long ponytail tied behind her back. Her eyes were hazel and her skin was very fair like his. He remembered that she was looking at him, looking down at him because she was so tall, and he was sitting on the kitchen floor, dressed up as Luke skywalker. Which was stupid because who ever heard of a black-haired Luke Skywalker? HE was eating corn flakes. Her eyes were quiet, understanding, so unlike how they were now, anxious and worried.
She was telling him that the baby sitter was coming and she had to go to work, so he had better be good. She stared at him a while longer, dressed in her best frock, and then the doorbell kept ringing and ringing.
A pretty girl with long brown hair and brown eyes entered the house carrying her purse. She smiled brightly.
